there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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