dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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