Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I need a beard to bite.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
