I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
