dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
