Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
