what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
