I think I am morally bankrupt
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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