I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
