Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
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We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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