I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
