I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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