Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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