You made me cry and you don't even care
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
