Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
