I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
