Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
