the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize