do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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