paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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