Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
