Buhtt sex?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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