so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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