I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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