so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my being single is dangerous.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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