butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
