Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize