He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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