Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
