Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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