Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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