I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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