I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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