oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
