I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
