I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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