We're facebook friends in real life
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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