so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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