so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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