I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my poor anus
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
