I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
