These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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