Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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