How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize