Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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