why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
