Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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