Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
