He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
