garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
