Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
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She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
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Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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