Can i not drive my cunt home
Are we in a gay sports bar?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
