I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
