Are we in a gay sports bar?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
