our cab driver is having phone sex.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
