i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
