Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
