guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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