Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
COCAINE IS GR8
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
