don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
