Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
