We won't sleep together?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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