A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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