im gay
i know
yea but for you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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