Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
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