I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
