I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
